Today, has been one of those days. A day, where you hope you survive it without breaking in to tears or embarrassing yourself by admitting how you really feel, defeated. I'm tired. My son didn't nap for his babysitter, he ran around the house crazy, destroying things and my husband is at work...again. My daughter is visiting her dad, and it pains me to say that I am a bit relieved, because the thought of caring for one more person tonight would push me over the edge, if I am not already falling. I am writing this tonight, as a confession of sorts. As we search for joy in our daily lives, as mothers and wives, as sisters and daughters and friends, we come across so many obstacles. Since our first meeting, I try each day to confess joy. To find something to cling to in the craziness of life. I struggle, as hard as that is to voice, in not being able to get everything crossed off my list for the day, to not make it to every event that I would like, in not having the "perfect" home. I am confessing my trials and my joy publicly tonight, so that I can humble myself before God and accept what He has for me. I found joy today in being able to give my nephew a ride to school and to see him interact with my son and daughter, to hear them laughing on the way there. I am thankful that my husband has a job, that although he is away from us at night, that God is using it to prepare him for something greater. I am blessed to know that my daughter is loved by her father, that he desires to raise her and have a relationship with her. I am grateful, that my son finally fell asleep and I could have time to myself to write this.
I find joy in the fact that tomorrow is a new day, and that God's mercy is new every morning.
